(I was recently sending my picture to a friend for some work, and got a little poetic and rather carried away. So wrote this in the email. Unfortunately he did not understand the poem, but i still kinda like it... wish to add few more lines but maybe later...
I do not know how to put that picture here else would have put it up. Its a pretty one :D... so here goes...)
Dedication: To someone who thought this was my best work ever, king kong... it just fits...
Something to look at when you miss me...
Something to dream about when u want to kiss me...
Whence slumber loses the battle with you thoughts...
When all the urges of lust, you are tired having fought...
A quick glance at your cell phone's candid contact image...
The inner battle and the insomnia does not feel like a cage...
Oh,What a pity! There are no wizards...
A flick of the wand and they could have given life to a picture card...
love,
P
Sep 17, 2009
Sep 15, 2009
Que sera sera...
My friend: How old do you think she is?
Cousin: Don’t know (judging by the shorts, flimsy bag and nerdy glasses) umm... 21?
My friend: Dude she’s 23 and she has her own business.
Cousin: aa nice…
Clearly they were talking about me. 2 months ago it was a big deal for most people I knew that I had started my own PR firm. I am super tall but I still don’t look old enough to own a company (thankfully). It dint hit me till everyone around me started talking about it. To be honest I did not think it was a big deal cause in the beginning all we did was do a little bit work and watch LOST most of the time (thanks to Tejal’s obsession)
Now 4 months down there’s a new office and new people and all that. Clients don’t let us live, there’s no time to watch tv (shit) and to be with my computer(yes I have an OCD to switch on my computer at least once a day.. I really don’t know why). Ok to be honest I love it, it nice to be busy and have the routine of visiting the chai wala and taking dabba to office everyday. I mean all this is very new to me. Teaching children was very exciting, but this is a different ball game. I get to write... how cool is that!
New business is like having a relationship. There are too many firsts. First media call, first document, first formal mail, first crush on a client (oops!) staying up in the night just because you want to do everything on time, spending entire days for events, crazy phone bills and hickies… or well dark circles. Trust me it’s almost orgasmic. Now I have never been in a relationship long enough to know what happens after firsts (oh c’mon don’t judge me, I like pricks) but I have heard from friends that after the initial lovey, dovey, mushy bit, comes the most important part of the relationship- the sustenance part. Now in my entire life I have never done it. I mean I have never worked for anything I wanted, I’m one of those fortunate ones that luck favours (touchwood seriously) but that’s kind of made me handicap. Hard work is something I have done only twice in my life (ok seriously stop judging) rest everything has simply ‘happened’ to me (luck by chance).
I have never really got how these people can be in a relationship for like years and then get married. WHAT DO YOU GUYS DO? I asked my cousin who has been with this (really nice) guy since 3.5 years now. They would get married after another 1-2 years and apparently ‘live happily ever after’ she said, “There’s so much to do, we go out, we talk all the time… etc.” now this girl is younger to me but way more saner and emotionally and mentally sorted. But still ‘DON’T YOU GET BORED?’
It sometimes hurts to be too intelligent and get things fast because then nothing is left. I figure out things and people so fast, what more is left. And I can see that happening for Crisscross (the company name) too. I love it, especially since there is so much to learn and know. I know there something like ‘know it all’ but there is something like ‘know enough to lose interest’? And that is exactly what I suffer from.
I never took my commitment phobia (ok go ahead judge me) seriously until Crisscross came along. Now there are too many questions. What if I screw up? What if I lose interest? What if I put all the effort and emotions and then it goes wrong? I am taking a plunge, it’s just like me to risk everything and walk out, what if I do it here? All these questions and obviously no answer. They say it comes with time. Well I have been waiting since 23 years, when is ‘IT’ coming?
Being an unofficial psychiatrist myself(I'm a natural, trust me), there’s none of those psychological things that will work on me and patience is not in my blood (literally I have a family full of impatient people) so do I am enjoying now, but its about time I took responsibility. Crisscross is a big step, I cannot let things ‘happen’ to me. So what do I do? Time for some ice cream… I think! (Ice cream makes questions of life disappear :D)
Cousin: Don’t know (judging by the shorts, flimsy bag and nerdy glasses) umm... 21?
My friend: Dude she’s 23 and she has her own business.
Cousin: aa nice…
Clearly they were talking about me. 2 months ago it was a big deal for most people I knew that I had started my own PR firm. I am super tall but I still don’t look old enough to own a company (thankfully). It dint hit me till everyone around me started talking about it. To be honest I did not think it was a big deal cause in the beginning all we did was do a little bit work and watch LOST most of the time (thanks to Tejal’s obsession)
Now 4 months down there’s a new office and new people and all that. Clients don’t let us live, there’s no time to watch tv (shit) and to be with my computer(yes I have an OCD to switch on my computer at least once a day.. I really don’t know why). Ok to be honest I love it, it nice to be busy and have the routine of visiting the chai wala and taking dabba to office everyday. I mean all this is very new to me. Teaching children was very exciting, but this is a different ball game. I get to write... how cool is that!
New business is like having a relationship. There are too many firsts. First media call, first document, first formal mail, first crush on a client (oops!) staying up in the night just because you want to do everything on time, spending entire days for events, crazy phone bills and hickies… or well dark circles. Trust me it’s almost orgasmic. Now I have never been in a relationship long enough to know what happens after firsts (oh c’mon don’t judge me, I like pricks) but I have heard from friends that after the initial lovey, dovey, mushy bit, comes the most important part of the relationship- the sustenance part. Now in my entire life I have never done it. I mean I have never worked for anything I wanted, I’m one of those fortunate ones that luck favours (touchwood seriously) but that’s kind of made me handicap. Hard work is something I have done only twice in my life (ok seriously stop judging) rest everything has simply ‘happened’ to me (luck by chance).
I have never really got how these people can be in a relationship for like years and then get married. WHAT DO YOU GUYS DO? I asked my cousin who has been with this (really nice) guy since 3.5 years now. They would get married after another 1-2 years and apparently ‘live happily ever after’ she said, “There’s so much to do, we go out, we talk all the time… etc.” now this girl is younger to me but way more saner and emotionally and mentally sorted. But still ‘DON’T YOU GET BORED?’
It sometimes hurts to be too intelligent and get things fast because then nothing is left. I figure out things and people so fast, what more is left. And I can see that happening for Crisscross (the company name) too. I love it, especially since there is so much to learn and know. I know there something like ‘know it all’ but there is something like ‘know enough to lose interest’? And that is exactly what I suffer from.
I never took my commitment phobia (ok go ahead judge me) seriously until Crisscross came along. Now there are too many questions. What if I screw up? What if I lose interest? What if I put all the effort and emotions and then it goes wrong? I am taking a plunge, it’s just like me to risk everything and walk out, what if I do it here? All these questions and obviously no answer. They say it comes with time. Well I have been waiting since 23 years, when is ‘IT’ coming?
Being an unofficial psychiatrist myself(I'm a natural, trust me), there’s none of those psychological things that will work on me and patience is not in my blood (literally I have a family full of impatient people) so do I am enjoying now, but its about time I took responsibility. Crisscross is a big step, I cannot let things ‘happen’ to me. So what do I do? Time for some ice cream… I think! (Ice cream makes questions of life disappear :D)
Apr 8, 2009
Sick
‘When ever you are angry write a poem.’ That was what I was told… so here it goes…
Dedications: I’ll pass…!
P.S: no wonder I fall sick so often!
I’m sick of your mind game,
For all your problems I get the blame.
‘She dumped me’ you say,
And follow it up with you incessant ramblings.
I listen to it, love, every single freaking day.
When I want to cry, your phone just rings.
Family problems, money problems, sex problems, guy boners,
Want to dump the frustration, call and do the honors!
I am totally sick of your lies,
Coz all you do when you see me is criticize,
Your work 24 hours a day, 7 days a week,
Then you cook and then you sleep.
So you work all the time and got no time for love…
Then threaten to leave unless you get a quick fuck.
Hate the my nose, way I dress, the way I think and way I kiss,
Then why pretend? Why treat me for ice creams and say, ‘its you I miss.’
I’m so sick of you, just everything about you,
Cribbing, yelling, shouting, fighting its all that you do!
Your sister blames you, you friends hate you, and you suck completely,
Can’t handle it? Fight, yell, abuse and blame it on yours truly.
Lie about love, lie about marriage, lie about the touch, and lie some more,
Cheat on a best friend then send and SMS and expect me to open the door.
My concern is my nagging,
And your commitment? That’s ok, it’s just hanging.
Sick, that’s what I am, that’s what the doctor termed,
When I waited on the hospital bed for you to come.
Disgusted I am, solving, handling your issues,
Appalled I am when you, abuse me, refuse to see my view.
Ailing I am, for I have taken enough abuse,
Sick I am, for this is slow cancer and death is no news.
Dedications: I’ll pass…!
P.S: no wonder I fall sick so often!
I’m sick of your mind game,
For all your problems I get the blame.
‘She dumped me’ you say,
And follow it up with you incessant ramblings.
I listen to it, love, every single freaking day.
When I want to cry, your phone just rings.
Family problems, money problems, sex problems, guy boners,
Want to dump the frustration, call and do the honors!
I am totally sick of your lies,
Coz all you do when you see me is criticize,
Your work 24 hours a day, 7 days a week,
Then you cook and then you sleep.
So you work all the time and got no time for love…
Then threaten to leave unless you get a quick fuck.
Hate the my nose, way I dress, the way I think and way I kiss,
Then why pretend? Why treat me for ice creams and say, ‘its you I miss.’
I’m so sick of you, just everything about you,
Cribbing, yelling, shouting, fighting its all that you do!
Your sister blames you, you friends hate you, and you suck completely,
Can’t handle it? Fight, yell, abuse and blame it on yours truly.
Lie about love, lie about marriage, lie about the touch, and lie some more,
Cheat on a best friend then send and SMS and expect me to open the door.
My concern is my nagging,
And your commitment? That’s ok, it’s just hanging.
Sick, that’s what I am, that’s what the doctor termed,
When I waited on the hospital bed for you to come.
Disgusted I am, solving, handling your issues,
Appalled I am when you, abuse me, refuse to see my view.
Ailing I am, for I have taken enough abuse,
Sick I am, for this is slow cancer and death is no news.
Jan 27, 2009
why dont i write?
this is to some1 askin me wat is my passion, and as i said writing is my high, was wondering when was the last time... i think, i face a problem...
a.) i'm very lazy to write, to think and type is a task to me, especially now, since life is a lil sorted and a lil boring... and cover it all up i say i hv tons of wrk, which i do, but still never enough work to stop writing. (thus gets me to problem in c.)
b.) (which is the main problem) what ever i write has to be very awesome... i should think its a work of art, so i dont write untill i find the perfect thought in my head... its almost like an OCD (for the uninitiated- obsessive compulsive disorder). also ppl who read my blog... shud like it.. or find it controvertial enough to comment... therefore i have not posted many things... n sometimes even when i find the perfect plot/thought... im too lazy (refer to point a.)
c.) i dun hv enough inspiration... i dun meet new ppl, work has no more challenge left and besides men probs, pms problems, girl frnd problems have all gotten too old now... i've adjusted to this sort of settin (which isnt cool, but watever). i dun meet new ppl either... n whoever i meet is too normal n trivial to me mentioned really... its not like im over the misery in my life... but im sick of it.. need somethin new...
d.) i had frnds who used to push me to write, some of them r far away, some jus tired of life, some too selfish and some jus plain off... so yea... ppl who used to reaqd and motivate r all kinda lost... (refer c.)
:) therefore... i dun write... altho i should... hope i get back my 'mojo' :P hahahaha... (altho i am confused)
cheers...
a.) i'm very lazy to write, to think and type is a task to me, especially now, since life is a lil sorted and a lil boring... and cover it all up i say i hv tons of wrk, which i do, but still never enough work to stop writing. (thus gets me to problem in c.)
b.) (which is the main problem) what ever i write has to be very awesome... i should think its a work of art, so i dont write untill i find the perfect thought in my head... its almost like an OCD (for the uninitiated- obsessive compulsive disorder). also ppl who read my blog... shud like it.. or find it controvertial enough to comment... therefore i have not posted many things... n sometimes even when i find the perfect plot/thought... im too lazy (refer to point a.)
c.) i dun hv enough inspiration... i dun meet new ppl, work has no more challenge left and besides men probs, pms problems, girl frnd problems have all gotten too old now... i've adjusted to this sort of settin (which isnt cool, but watever). i dun meet new ppl either... n whoever i meet is too normal n trivial to me mentioned really... its not like im over the misery in my life... but im sick of it.. need somethin new...
d.) i had frnds who used to push me to write, some of them r far away, some jus tired of life, some too selfish and some jus plain off... so yea... ppl who used to reaqd and motivate r all kinda lost... (refer c.)
:) therefore... i dun write... altho i should... hope i get back my 'mojo' :P hahahaha... (altho i am confused)
cheers...
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