The problem with not having is job is not just limited to being broke or stuck at home; it is much more complex. Somehow the fact that you are at home, automatically puts a stamp on your head that you are available at everyone’s beck and call. You become the official house maid, cook, the boy who does odd jobs, the computer mechanic and personal secretary of family members and distant relative. Oh! And BTW your salary includes listening to a lot of whining and in rare cases –Sorry.
Now don’t get me wrong. Everyone who knows me, know that I usually go out of my way to help out the most random strangers. But the fact that I am taken for granted is not acceptable. Even if its family, ESPECIALLY if its family.
This trigged a thought, was the old system of slaves was justified? Although, half of the population suffered in poverty and slavery, at least they didn’t do it to their wife and kids. Now, we all want to pass on the buck without being accountable for what we say or do. Most of us commit just about everywhere and when we can’t handle it, pass it on to our loved ones, because they don’t have an option of leaving.
I did not put myself through 15 years of useless education to suffer due to someone else’s misplanning and stupidity. And when pointed out (Very politely, I must add) it turns out to be one of the 3. (usually in that order)
1)Ego: ‘you are always blaming me for everything’, ‘I’m not the reason you fall sick’,
2)Sorry: The most disgusting word in my dictionary. ‘Sorry, I did not mean to, but you know a lot is bothering with my work/family/money/myself’ and once the ‘S’ word is said, everything has to be forgotten and we all have to go on pretending it never happened.
3)Abuse: This usually happens when they do not know how to react to a situation. In severe cases it is physical. But in most mild cases its verbal. ‘Just look at yourself, you can’t walk straight/you can’t talk louder/you create a scene/you talk too much/you should be thankful I even consider you a part of my life.’ Verbal abuse cannot be proved or shown, so most women and sometimes even men go though their entire life without healing or even realising their scars.
Yes, we all do this at some point. It is totally wrong, but at some levels it can be justified. But for most people it is a behavioural problem. It is ingrained by mothers/wives/girlfriends/fathers and media that taking responsibility for your actions is a job for weak minded people. Strong people can use their power physical or mental to push around other people. Also, call me biased, but somehow I find majority of men doing this (or probably it is just a gujju men thing)
I may not earn in lakhs or own a big house. Heck, right now I’m dead broke and have to live off my parents. But I try and take full responsibilities of my actions. I plan in a way that I can trouble others the least. Yes, I do fail, miserably sometimes, but I make sure I more than make up for it by helping out as much as I can.
I will end by saying what my mother always tells me – Responsibility is power.
