Shristi

Shristi wakes up lazily in the morning shutting her snooze finally. After her daily routine she is dressed and runs with a packed ‘dabba’ to catch the 9:55 fast to Churchgate. There she waits amongst the hundreds of other women waiting for the train. She is amongst them, amongst the massive crowd but she does not feel crowded. She and all the other women out there pretend that no one around them is really there. The train comes, with lots of effort they all board.
In the train amongst the varied women from different background and thinking, is Shristi. Everyone has their own massive world compressed into a small standing place holding the handle above or the small fourth seat with a slow fan above. Shristi has consciously switched off her thinking power during travelling, years back. This time for her is to be blank or randomly dose off in and out of sleep. She passes all the places which once upon a time inspired her to write, to be poetic, nostalgic and sometimes got a soft wet tear out of her eye. She consciously remains oblivious to that. The train finally halts at Churchgate. Shristi is one face between the hundreds rushing in and out of there. She is no one special, because she chooses not to be special.
Six months back at the same place and same time. When she walked, all eyes noticed her at least once. She liked that, she was used to that, she wanted that. Life was so much different back then. She was in love, with herself, with her surroundings with everything including HIM. She had a new job and challenges. Her love for him was enough for her to last a lifetime. Or at least that is what it felt at that time. There was a dream, there was a future. It did not matter to her whether he or the world loved her… her love was too much to bother for anything disturbing. But now, she just tries to be one in the crowd. Sometimes she observes women in the train. She can read them, their minds their thoughts. She has done it all her life. But she does not open up. She is used to the ‘Routine’. She is emotionally bankrupt.
Back in office there is a new client waiting for her, may ask her out for a date or coffee and she will refuse. Today she enters her cabin sorts out her bags and files. “Shristi, client is waiting in the board room, should I send him in your cabin?” there is an intercom from the secretary. She says ok and waits for him to enter. She is reading the account detail, when he enters. She looks at him. The same face she fell in love with, same man she could surrender to, fall down on her knees and be his forever. It was HIM. He sits. He asks her, “How have you been?” She smiles and politely responds. They have a small conversation and move toward professional talks. They do not talk about the obvious, both are too scared. And after a whole day of reading articles and checking previous history of the product, they are about to part. It is late at night. He offers to drop her home. When they reach her house he looks at her and says, “I miss you Shristi!” She looks at him. Pecks his cheek lightly and leaves.
She could cry but now it was too late. She feels fine. She finishes her work. Sleeps. Next day again wakes up with snooze. But today after getting dressed she looks in the mirror. And just blankly stares. She laughs. She realises its getting late and again leaves for a long day at work. She goes to the station and has a smile on her face, because today for the first time she is in between the crowd.